There is no full-proof remedy on keeping stress out of your planning, but here are some ideas and tips in reducing the amount of stress and pressure each couple will encounter when planning their wedding. It goes without saying that no pre-planning of anything will go off without a hitch! Let’s face it…the only thing we ever have control over is ourselves. Outside of that anything and I mean anything can go wrong because after all that is Life! When we can embrace the idea that stress must be managed more than controlled than we can begin to breathe.
Stress does not discriminate and knowing that should give us one up on a stress attack. There is such a thing as healthy stress and this type of stress motivates us to persevere. Don’t let stress defeat you…using these tools may help you combat the pits of becoming a Bridezilla!
Consider putting these key factors into motion:
- Go out and buy yourself a notebook full of empty pages to help with your planning. Use at least the last 10 pages in the back of the book for note taking. This area can be for venue and vendor use, like keeping track of who you spoke with, their availability, price/cost and any information pertinent to your planning.
- Sit with your fiancé and write down your budget! A budget is key to keeping stress at a normal level. Make it a point to stay within the lines of your budge. I know firsthand as a past bride that you might come across something that is a must have. It is best practice to stay focused and on task with your budget. However, if you are adamant on this must have than you may want to forgo something else or try to negotiation with your vendors to find a happy median.
- Have you chosen the season you want to share your nuptials with your best friend? If not, this is the most important thing to do and can make or break your planning. Once you have your season you must now narrow down a date. Be sure to be open to not getting your dream date as there are thousands of brides who are getting married that year or time of year. If you plan on getting married on a Saturday just keep in mind that there are 52-53 Saturdays from January to December each year depending upon Leap year.
- Your date and your planning is directly tied to your venue. Choosing a venue should be your priority because most venues are booked 6-12 months out. Choosing your venue needs to be the first thing you tackle on your list of planning. It is best to start looking for a venue at least 12-18 months from the date you plan to wed.
- Planning your wedding will be one of many tests that you and your fiancé will tackle. The outcome of how the two of you handle stress will show what type of marriage you will have. Managing healthy conflict is something couples must utilize for the success and survival of their marriage.
- What type of couple are you?
- When you argue, or disagree, do you try to see the point of view from your partner over yours?
- How do you resolve conflict?
- Do you choose to be right or choose to be happy?
- Do you believe that one of you should win?
- When you think of love do you put conditions on the love you two share?
- What are your expectations? Are they godly expectations?
- Do you have healthy communication skills?
- Do you make time as a couple to share your feelings, dreams and aspirations?
- Do you meet each other’s needs? Do you know what those needs are?
- How to negotiate with your vendors for your wedding is another way to help reduce the stress. Stay firm on what you expect out of your vendor. If you agree to one package, don’t feel discouraged because a vendor wants to sell you on another that will eventually take you out of budget. This is your wedding, so this means you choose what you will have and how much you can afford. Negotiating does not mean you will cheapen the deal…it means that you try your best to get the biggest bang for your buck with having the utmost respect for your vendors.
- Ask Questions!! I cannot stress this enough. Ask as many questions when looking to book your venue, your photographer, your caterer and so forth. Prepare a list of questions to ask each vendor and if they can’t answer some of your questions than perhaps they are not a match. When hiring, a caterer be sure you ask if they have the appropriate amount of insurance. When meeting with the venue be sure that they are in good standing with the county/state. You don’t want to be one of those statistics who has been planning for months and months to only find out weeks before your wedding day that the venue has been shut down due to unmet regulation standards. Your first quote is not the only quote, so ask, negotiate.
- Read your contract thoroughly and be sure you can take your contract home. Get an outside opinion to review your contract. This helps separate your emotional state of mind and allows an outsider to see what you may be blinded to because you are overwhelmed with the details in planning. When important things get overlooked during planning it causes tremendous amount of stress later. Never sign a contract on your first meeting. Shop around to ensure you are getting the best service and deal. Do a bit of research on your vendors as well. You always have a right to negotiate your contract(s) before signing. Be sure that all your “t’s” are crossed and “I’s” are dotted before signing the contract. Be certain you get everything in writing you agree to. Initial and date changes in contract and get copies of pre-contracts and post-contracts whether you sign or don’t sign.
- Remember that STRESS is a silent KILLER, so don’t let it rob you of your joy or happiness. This is a time to connect on deeper levels as you both share moments of stress and come out on top. Therefore, it is important for both of you sit down and talk through your wedding plans. Couples who make time for each other are likely to share marital bliss. Putting your partners needs before yours is the greatest way to show love. This will keep your stress at a minimal and allow the growth to happen between you as a couple naturally.